What I learnt in Bologna

 I’m now in the final phase of my time in Bologna and I cannot believe how fast the time has flown by.

I’ve had to buy a second travel diary after cramming the first one full of new experiences and wonderful memories. I have seen people come and go and my Italian is getting to a point where I can at least make myself understood, even if only at a basic level.

I have visited Ravenna, Ferrara, Florence, Cinque Terra, Venice, and I still have plans to spread my wings even further.

But as time slips away maybe now is a good time to take a step back from the adventures that lie ahead and reflect on how far I have come and what I have discovered about both the world and myself.

1)   People are nice (and the same)
One of the most important things I have learnt on this trip is that wherever you are, if you are open, friendly and kind, people will be nice and you will have great company.

There have been some real moments of clarity since I’ve been here in that you don’t have to settle for less when it comes to having people in your life.

So often we accept the company of those who don’t really help to build us up out of a feeling of “comfort” in the known or a kind of sense of responsibility or even a fear of being alone, but you never have to be alone.

Sitting in my classroom and at coffee the last few days, I have been the only English person sat among Bulgarian, Chinese, Ukrainian, Swedish, South African, Italian (Obviously), Brazilian, Canadian, American, German and French students… it has truly been amazing.

And yet despite our different roots, languages and cultures, the topics of conversation remain the same namely; boy troubles, current affairs, art and at one point the pros and cons of boob jobs!

We are all the same and there are millions of people out there to be-friend and get to know. Don’t settle for those who make you feel “less”, chase those who make no effort or worry that you will be lonely – amazing people are out there waiting for you to say hello (or in my case, Ciao! Followed by mistake-ridden attempted Italian). 

2)   Italian is hard, but your will is harder

Following on from that last point – the Italian language is hard!

I have never been good at languages. I struggled with French at school and I only lasted for two years taking Spanish classes before dropping it like a hot potato. It just isn’t my gift.

So why did you go to Italy to learn Italian (!?) I hear you cry.

Well the truth is, I didn’t come to Italy to learn Italian, I came to experience Italy. Learning the language would just give my day structure and help me to assimilate better – plus I thought it would sound quite sexy.

I hate to disappoint any men out there but when I do speak Italian it does NOT sound sexy!  It sounds like a three year-old with a weird accent trying to put together words that it doesn’t know the meaning of.

However, I am getting better. The turning point was realizing mid-lesson that the concept I was finding easy was the same topic I had had a panic attack about a few weeks earlier, not to mention that I was in a class with people who have been studying for months (and in some cases years – all be it once a week) to be at this level.

Yeah, it is hard.

The best advice I have been given and the best description of where I am at this point came from a classmate who likened learning a language to swimming in the sea.  At first it looks all calm and serene then you wade further in and you get caught by the surf – it’s all choppy and sometimes the waves pull you under and you cant see.

But swim a little further out and it becomes all calm and serene again and you just float. This part right now is the surf, and with four more weeks ahead of me I am hoping to find some kind of calm so I don’t drown when I come back home. 

3)   Italy is easy

So while the language may be hard, the culture of Italy and the lifestyle is so easy-going, it’s the  main reason I don’t want to come home. The balance is perfect, the weather is warm and sunny and the food… Jesus that is good! Even the salads taste nice (I’ve been trying to cut down on the pasta).

I’ve been having a bit of a crisis of confidence about coming home, I don’t want to slip back into old habits or find myself living a life that just seems dull or unimportant again.

Life is easy here because it’s colorful and vibrant. There are always distractions and things to do. I’m forever meeting new people and challenging myself. That motivation and willingness is easy to harness in a place like this, it’s not so easy in the grey, rain-drenched centre of Bolton.

If you are a few minutes late to the class, the world wont end and you’re expected to take an hour (or even two) for lunch, and actually go and have lunch!

Work finishes at 6 and then its time for aperitivo (the greatest invention ever) and you can then just sit and bask in the sunshine – beautiful.

I realize this may be a slightly skewed version of reality, but the fact still remains that life here is easy because they value balance. It’s not work, work, work, gym, gym, gym; life is about pleasure and prioritizing quality over quantity.

That should be an easy thing to do!

4)   Life shouldn’t be easy

However, in direct contradiction to the above point, life itself  shouldn’t be easy.

If it’s easy you get bored.

As my time here is comes to an end (only 18 days to go) I am facing the reality of coming back down to earth. This wonderful experience will then just be stored away in memories and two lovingly written travel journals.

I mistakenly thought that this trip would clear up a few questions I had about who I want to be, what I want to do, where I want to be but it has actually ended up doing the exact opposite!

It’s expanded my horizons and raised a multitude of new options that I had never contemplated before. And while I am still returning to England unsure and unable to predict the future, I will be returning in a much healthier and stronger mental state that will make all those questions a lot easier to answer (eventually).

I know now that for life to be worth living, it has to be challenging. You cant just live a life sipping Aperol spritz in the sunshine, you have to go out and explore! Meet the people, take the experience and, yes, work hard.

The best part about this trip is that it has given me the confidence to be myself and to take like by the horns instead of simply letting it pass me by.

And actually, I’m really excited for the next chapter now.